Rock excused himself, and disappeared through a door. Lily lay back onto the soft leather cushions and thought about the last few hours. MMMM, her mind said. She licked her lips with rememberance. Then reality intruded on her. What was she doing? She needed to be in Brazil now. Why was she dallying with her lover? Lover. Well, now there's a title. Suddenly, Lily felt naked, although she had been bereft of clothing for a few hours at least. She was so torn. As always. There was the honorable part of her, bound to do the right thing, and the bad girl part of her, that kept doing the same wrong things, over and over. She felt guilt, and shame, and put her clothes back on. She couldn't allow herself to think of the last few days with anything but a bad light. But there was a little core of her that kept those memories for days that she would be wanting them. Once she assimilated the guilt, she would hold those memories up for private inspection, and glory in them. Some day, she would be ninety and could point to a picture and tell someone, see that man? That was the spy who loved me! and cackle. Ahh. But now was now. She could hear a shower running in the other room, and it was all she could do to restrain herself. Obviously, she had stopped thinking so hard. A few more minutes, and she couldn't. Once you've cheated on your diet, why not go the whole nine yards? One bite of cheescake vs the whole enchilada. Sigh. All or nothing. Lily thought of her science degree for a nanosecond, all the potential of a cell before it reacts in those thoughts. Plenty of synapse were firing as she caught sight of Rock, involved in a shower. All of his muscular body was rich with soapy lather, coarsing over him. His eyes were closed, his face relaxed in way that Lily rarely saw. Quickly stripping again, she stepped up to the shower and asked,

"Is this a private shower? Or can anyone join?"

His eyes grew wide, his smile rapturous, as Lily joined him. He smiled a wicked smile and opened the door wide for her entry. He turned up the hot water and moved aside, letting LIly benefit from the spray. It coursed through her hair, over her shoulders. It coursed over her nipples and sprang into spigots, as though through a gargoyle. Every last part of him was rigid. Lily moaned and purred, and before long, all her guilt was washing down the drain. She felt languid, and was totally unaware when she fell into bed.

Lily was dreaming. It was real time, she was dreaming that Daniel was being tortured by Brazilian authorities. She could see his anguished face, as they layed the lash to him. It hurt her to watch. She woke suddenly, awash in sweat in a fine layer. She had a terribly guilty concious. She felt like she should be doing things to get her closer to Daniel. But that's what we're doing! Her mind said. Instead of having Hayu bail you out, as he has so many times before, you're going a different way. Doing it yourself. Myself, huh? She thought as she looked at Rock sleeping across the bed. Did he sleep as well other places? Or was it just with her? She knew she was using him. Using his resources. Part of her felt he owed this to her. Entitlement. He had used her. Betrayed her. If not in business, then in romance. Jealousy. Revenge. Lily had these thoughts for a few moments. He did betray her. She would gladly forgive him if he but repented. But he had no guilt. He was totally without. Her heart could accept nothing less than total surrender. He had her mind, her body, and, most unfortunate for them, her heart. She was wide awake now. The clock said it was 3:29 am. They would be getting up soon to take on the day. She really should go to sleep. She spent the next hour just watching Rock sleep. Wondering what she saw in him. Wondering if he could ever love just her. Wondering what she was doing to herself, even as her heart beat so that it just couldn't be wrong. Sickness. She finally fell into a fitful, uneven sleep for the next hour before Rock was shaking her and telling her it was time to wake up. They had company....


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